Image via: The Man Repeller
I feel quite strongly about leaving ex-boyfriends in the past, if there is a reason that you broke up then it’s probably reason enough not to have them in your life. Harsh for some, but for myself personally I am happier pretending they never existed and having nothing to do with them. I picture an island far, far away where all ex-boyfriends congregate being dickheads together. Rather than putting myself through the emotional battle field of being friends with one, vom!
An unassuming Friday night a few weeks ago, whilst minding my own business, I had just gotten home from work and had a notification on Facebook. A new message, from some girl I didn’t recognise. I went about opening said message and it was as if this girl had punched me in the face through my phone screen.
No introduction, no explanation, just a lovely loaded question that demand I tell her why I broke up with said ex-boyfriend followed with a badly written and grammatically incorrect tirade of abuse.
I’ll just set the scene a little here, we broke up going on 13-14 months ago. Since breaking up we have had no contact, I have not tried to make any contact and I have made a conscious effort to stay 100% out of his life. I call this respect and dignity, I appreciate the same in return.
We didn’t break up on bad terms, we broke up because neither of us was particularly happy. Staying in touch was not going to make us any happier either, so I had my cry, took my time to get over it and him and was on my very merry way pretending he didn’t exist and enjoying my life without him.
Until this stranger decided to begin demanding that I explain to her some of the most intimate details of my life. To say I was outraged is a massive understatement. How dare this girl intrude into my life and demand I give her answers to questions like that?
I politely told her that I was unafraid I couldn’t give her any of the answers she desired. That she was best to go and have a chat to my ex-boyfriend and that I don’t take fondly to being harassed by a crazy stranger. She was not a happy camper, a barrage of more abuse followed.
Said situation was eventually dealt with, after I had to ring my ex, who was promptly informed when he answered that he was the last person in the world that I ever wanted to be calling or talking to... Little victories when the response I was met with was really awkward and I knew I had him squirming for what was to follow.
The whole situation left me completely baffled, who in their right mind thinks it’s appropriate to contact their current partners ex and demand they tell you details of their past relationship? One thing that most people agreed on was that this girl was a few screws loose and ‘psycho’ was the most commonly used term to describe her.
I could, maybe, sympathise with someone contacting their current partners ex, if the ex in question was still present in this person’s life. However, in my case I was not, I was 100% nowhere near him and his life. I had no need or desire to have anything to do with his life and I was very happy with this.
I can’t for the life of me think of any situation where I have felt the need to contact a boyfriends ex, or my ex-boyfriends ex. Nada, for me there is no need, clearly this person is no longer around for a reason. Why not just let them be and leave them in the past?
How would her contacting me make her feel any better about the issues they were clearly having? It only made this poor girl look sad, desperate, insecure and crazy for going to such lengths.
Upon further enquiry it turns out this girl wasn’t even seeing the boy in question any more, which only made her attempts at attention seeking look more delusional and pathetic. All reflecting horribly on the type of girl my ex has decided to move on to, good luck to him. Fuck having to deal with shit like that.
So just a heads up girls, if you break up with someone and want any chance at leaving the relationship with any dignity, do not follow this silly girls steps and abuse any ex-girlfriends. It’s not going to win you any brownie points. It’s only going to emphasise to your ex-boyfriend that he probably made the right decision breaking up with you.
I will tell you right now, you will look desperate and people are bound to find out what you did, that’s a bit embarrassing.