Flying solo

My housemate and I talk about this all the time, we have had lengthy, frustrated discussions, all revolving around our coupled friends inability to see that you can be happy and single at the same time. Shock horror!

It’s like as soon as you hit your mid 20’s and your not in a relationship people begin to assume there is something wrong with you. They begin to think that it is ok to try and set you up with anyone they know who is single, they think its ok to comment and pass judgment.

I don’t remember the last time I asked a married couple how marriage was working out for them, have they been on any good dates lately or had any good sex? But if you’re single it seems fair game.

I have found it more often than not happens with those I see less often, perhaps those friends I see once a month. You catch up after your general hello’s and how are you’s its right on to, ‘So are you seeing anyone?’

Um well actually I am not seeing anyone and contrary what you probably think, I am not spending my Saturday nights sobbing in to my pillow. Nor am I lonely, I am out enjoying my life and spending time with fun people who are also enjoying theirs.

I am single because I choose to be, I have no time just to have a partner because it’s the done thing. Until I meet someone who actually makes me want to share my time with them I am just not that interested.

Nor am I at all scared and sad that I am going to end up alone, I have friends, they are great and I don’t have to worry about the shit that comes with relationships with them!

I know particularly for my housemate, that most of her friends are married and for some reason they think she must be miserable because she isn’t. But since when did a relationship status become directly to linked with happiness levels or life satisfaction in general?

There is so much more to life and happiness than being in a relationship, I mean sure they can be great, but its not all doom and gloom if you are happily flying solo. I also have far more interesting things to talk about than awkward dates I have been on and boys I am not that interested in.

So we will happily continue to fly solo, being selfish and spending time with people that add value to our lives.  Maybe going on awkward dates, maybe not. Either way I am happy, others might not understand but I’m working on not caring.

Seeking Love, Finding Overalls

 

Those of you who visit my blog regularly will be aware of my love for the one and only Man Repeller, Leandra Medine. I think she is wonderful, I think her writing is wonderful and I think her take and attitude towards fashion is wonderful. Also, considering she didn’t run away calling for help, when I overenthusiastically came running across the street to say hello while wandering the Meatpacking District in New York, I think she has a wonderful relationship with her fans. Over excited or not.

When Medine first announced she was writing a book to be released this year I was over the moon. I was excited to take a piece of the Man Repeller and keep her in my life forever. Since first stumbling upon Man Repeller a few years ago I was hooked, my constant go to blog for fashion, but mainly for Medine’s refreshing, witty and humorous writing.

As a budding writer myself, I have taken a lot from her style of writing. She is personable without revealing too much, she is honest without being too harsh, and she is humorous and willing to poke fun at herself.  There are not a lot of people out there that manage to get that balance right. But my does she smash it! (Well I think so personally and if you have an issue with that it’s your loss because you have no idea what you’re missing out on, she is amazing!)

So the book, ‘SeekingLove. Finding Overalls.’ It was a long and tedious, three week wait for it to be delivered to my door. After some hiccups with the post office and one particularly incompetent postie I finally had the highly anticipated book in my hot little hand.

It took me five days, five highly enjoyable days to finish. I am generally a fast reader, but when you factor in that I was working those five days, it was a massive effort to finish it so fast. That said it was hard not to want to read it in one sitting. I was devastated when the last chapter came around. Funny, honest, open, witty, enjoyable and highly relatable, I loved every sentence Medine wrote.

Medine has written on what I assume are some of the most significant moments in her life, from her first love giving her “cooties”, to her first kiss, “my first kiss was with a boy who had seamen issues at a club called cream”. To her being told that the reason she was so hopeless with love was because of her clothes and nothing else.

I could relate to her stories, as she wrote about things all girls have gone through, weight issues, love, loss, falling in love with handbags and accessories, deciding a pair of shoes are more important than food. So on and so forth.

The chapter that I loved the most was “The Peplum”, which was written about her engagement to the one boy who loved her enough to see past her man repelling tendencies. From reading her blog I had seen the post on her engagement when she announced it to her readers, I was so excited for her. But I was totally unaware of the barrage of negative feedback she received after sharing such happy news.

As Medine does refrain from sharing too many personal and intimate details about her life, so this was a big moment. To read that she had received negative and hateful feedback after sharing some of the happiest news one could share was upsetting. However for her to be so open about it and writing it in her book, calling those who hated on her 'assholes', goes to show her refreshing and humorous take on writing about her life.

I have always been a fan of Medine and always will be. Regardless of whether you are familiar with Man Repeller or not, I highly recommend giving her a book some time. It will leave you smiling and also remind you that there are many out there that have experienced the same awkward moments in life as you and I both have.

Buy Seeking Love. Finding Overalls here.

It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers

 

Some moments really should remain in the past, they should be locked away and forgotten about forever. However, this rarely happens, especially when one hopes for these moments to remain in 2001, in a box, in a cubbard hidden forever.

 

But no, whilst enjoying an evening at a friends house, having a lovely time, drinking some wine. Said friend declares during her recent move that she found something, when asked if it was funny she replied, 'it depends'... alarm bells rang. Back she came with a grin on her face and three passport sized photos in her hand. Three passport photos that should have remained lost in boxes, three photos that we all decided as 12 year olds should be shared. I was confronted with my year 7 school photo, to say that I was an awkward looking pre-pubescent is a gross understatement. And why we decided to share them is beyond me, why my friends also failed to mention to me that I looked ghastly with my glasses on is also questionable.

 

A chubby, awkward looking 12 yr old, with slicked back hair and wire rimmed glasses, in a shirt and tie looked back at me with an uncomfortable grin, not the best combination. A photo which now lives on the fridge in said friends kitchen for everyone else to enjoy. It made me think, about all the cringe worthy fashion moments of my teenage years. Trust me there are many, and it hurts me to think about all of the following, some more than others...

 

Year 7 was full of awkward moments, the school photo mentioned above, silky satin boxer shorts under my summer uniform. Why any of us thought that was a good idea is beyond me. It also appeared to be the fashion of having a little of the hem showing out the bottom of our dresses. Was it to prevent the boys from seeing our knickers? In my case the last thing I needed to worry about as a 12 year old was boys wanting to look up my dress.

 

Year 8 was not much better, I ditched the satin boxer shorts, lost a little puppy fat but the fashion faux pas continued. My favourite outfit of choice was a pink camo knee length denim skirt, worn with a pink t-shirt that had a sparkly cherry motif on the front paired with a really 'fashionable' pair of red Gallaz skate shoes (FYI: I did not skate). There was also the hot pink Billabong cords I begged mum to buy me for my 14th birthday. They were boot cut and I don't think Miranda Kerr would have looked good in them, let alone an awkward, slightly chubby 14yr old me.

 

Year 9, FINALLY all my puppy fat had decided to leave the building, boys began to talk to me. They didn't so much talk to me because they fancied me even if i had hoped that was the case. I do recall one boy thinking he was very clever when he decided to call me Samantha 'Saussage' because that was just sooo similar to 'Savage'. I think it is safe to say that I have come a lot further in life than you have, Rory. Year 9 was a bit less harsh on my fashion credentials as the previous years. I was stuck with braces, which were not the best look on me. Even though I had convinced myself that the boy's telling me that I 'looked good for a girl with braces' were actually telling the truth...I am not so sure now. There were quite a few trips to the local shopping center on Fridays after school, where we would promptly rush to the bathrooms, to roll our skirts up to an acceptable but cheek grazing length, unbutton our shirts and loosen out ties... oh such rebels we were. This behaviour was always followed by an announcement in the Monday morning assembly, that some Luther students has been seen at Eastland and their uniform was not at an acceptable standard.

 

Year 10 saw the braces leave, a week before the deb. The deb which I went to with a Ronald McDonald look alike and a GHD burn mark on the middle of my forehead. Year 10 seemed to be quite a uneventful fashion faux pa year, I think I was just leading up to the crescendo of wrong clothing decisions of the 17-19 age bracket. Although at a friends 16th birthday, I decided that I would try making my self something fancy to wear. Which turned in to an awkward camisole with rough edges and some awful pearl brooch.

 

Year 11, oh year 11. This year saw me with a horrid dye job that turned my hair from orange to brownish green all in the 2 days before the formal. It also saw the rise of my confidence... which lead to the rise in my hemlines... which kept on rising until the age of 19. I began pushing the boundaries of tops as dresses through the summer of year 11 to year 12.

 

Year 12... mmmmm tops as dresses, a lot of home made 'dresses' which I am shocked my mother allowed me to leave the house wearing. There was a vast amount of my legs going around, there was also a vast amount of my hemline missing. The creme de la creme, my Valedictory dinner dress. Now the only reason I believe that my mum allowed me to wear this dress is because it cost far too much and I brought it with out her seeing it to approve. From a store that would not offer a refund or an exchange. Somewhere in my 18 year old mind I had justified the fact that this dress was ok. It was ok that it was so short that I couldn't bend over or walk up stairs comfortably, it was ok that the neck almost came down to my belly button... all because it had sleeves. Ok, this might have been justifiable if they were long sleeves but they were a pathetic cap sleeve. Lets just say I am glad that dress is long gone.

 

I am also glad all the 'dresses' I made are long gone, that my braces are off, that I can recognise the difference between a dress and a top. Now I feel that I have a much better idea of what looks good on me and more importantly what does not. It's quite lucky actually that these things remain in the past, I know I judge myself harshly for the questionable things I wore, I don't need others too either. Although I am not so happy for my year 7 photo's new home on Emily's fridge, especially when told that the last person who saw that photo laughed for a good 20 minutes and could not believe that I was that awkward, badly accessorised kid. Now I will go on my merry way continuing to appreciate all the awkward, badly dressed teenage girls that cross my path, knowing that one day they will realise that denim knickers in public was never a good idea, and feel the same embarrassment I do when I think about the things I used to wear.

 

PS. Please note the title of this post, It's OK, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers , this book and the others in the series, which follow Georgia Nicholson and her adventures through teenage hood. These books were my bible and many of the events are not so dissimilar to my teenage years. Some more so than I wish to admit, Georgia also had many a questionable fashion moment.

Read me.

 

I have always been fascinated with psychics and the like, I find the idea of people being able to read you so intriguing. However, as intriguing as it all is, it scares the absolute shit out of me! I know things like fortune telling, palm reading and tarot cards all need to be taken with a grain of salt, a little caution and scepticism. Still the thought of having a stranger read my fortune has always frightened me. Last night I faced that fear, with some of my girlfriends and sat before a tarot card reader.

It was intriguing, insightful, I was a little bit doubtful of some aspects. But over all, this woman who I had never met before managed to tell me things that only a few select people know about me with in 2 minutes of sitting down, without me saying a single word. She didn’t delve in to ground breaking future predictions, she did however manage to pick up on all the main things that have been on my mind lately. Worries about my career, about going in the right direction, about being good enough and smart enough to tackle the things I aspire to, she nailed all those worries right on the head.  While I was yet to mutter more than a hello to her, it was weird, I was wondering whether she had been chatting to my mum.

She was off on a few points, the relationship aspects were funny. Apparently I have a boyfriend, well lady that is news to me! And I am in love…not sure where this mysterious boy is hiding but he sure as hell is not hanging out with me. I was also told to be cautions as I could fall pregnant in the next 9 months, so boys, just a heads up if you don’t want to be my babies’ daddy stay far, far, far away! I am also supposed to meet the man I will spend the rest of my life with very, VERY soon. She had a VERY strong influence on the VERY part. Again boys, if you don’t fancy being stuck with me for ever, I would stay away for the next 6-12 months. Now I will be over analysing every male I meet as prospective husband/baby daddy material…oh god!

It wasn’t these aspects that drew me in, it was when she started telling me about aspects of my personality that I really began to pay attention. She knew about the little insecurities I have, about the things I felt I needed to change, about the things that had been changing. Things that I don’t think are possible to read from someone’s body language. I was not giving her a whole lot, trust me! All she was getting was a yep here and a yep there, how the hell did this woman know so much about me?! She also told me that there would be travel in the future, yes please, I do home so! I was also told that apparently, I have lots of angles watching over me and am one of the most blest people she has read in a long time. Yep, I am ok with that!

So all in all there was nothing to be scared about, nothing bad and nothing overly ground breaking.  However, it was a bit eye opening, it has given me some things to think about, but it won’t make me change anything I am doing or plan to do. It has intrigued me, I want to go to someone else now to see if they will tell me similar things. It will also be interesting to see if any of her future predictions come true, as long as it’s not the belly full of arms and legs part…I do not need children any time soon! And if nothing comes true, it was still fun to play with the cards!

The Spinsterhood Diaries

I discovered The Spinsterhood Diaries accidentally about a week ago...dare I say it I clicked on the link because I really liked the illustration, then i read the first line and I really liked that, followed by the whole post and I was laughing at my computer screen for a good 5 minutes after.

31 ways in 31 days is Myrna Minx's count down to a spinsters Valentines day, it is a reflection of 31 ways to be a spinster and it is hilarious! Posts like Go to the movies..by yourself, Don't do anything you don't want to do, Become a connoisseur I highly recommend you read it, even if you are not a spinster, as a girl you will appreciate her witty anecdotes. With advice like, 'don't want to make dinner? Eat cereal or order takeout. (Hint: Cereal is probably less effort)' and 'don't want to wash the dishes? Use paper plates.' Really, how can you go wrong?!

 

Read it, here!!!!

Girl meets Stranger

 

I went on a blind date a few weeks ago, it was an interesting experience. I hate to admit but it was probably one of the best dates I have ever been on, a complete stranger who knew nothing about me managed to put together something I totally enjoyed. Great food choices (Argentinian, followed by an entire chocolate hazelnut cake. Any boy who buys me an entire cake gets some serious brownie points!), great company, great activities (Geo Chacing…this weird treasure hunt thing which led us around the city, down dodgy alley ways I had never seen before), however no spark. Which is fine, almost expected, but this left me with a little bit of a dilemma and a question which I posed to my girlfriends.

Although there was no spark, he was still great company.  I didn’t leave the date wanting another date but I did leave it thinking he would be a great guy to hang out with as a friend. Which I told my girlfriends, who quite enthusiastically told me that NO, I could not be friends with someone who I went on a date with, as I would be leading him on...even if I made all intentions known. This confused me greatly, yeah, we went on a date, but can’t a girl just be friends with a boy?! Does it always have to relate back to dating and sex? What if I just want someone to talk fart jokes with? Why cant I just be friends with a boy?  However as one does, she often relies on the advice of her girlfriends and when the majority’s consensus is that I should not offer friendship as a constellation prize I figured that was the best course of action.

I didn’t think much about it after that, until one night out I met up with the friend who set me up on this blind date and the blind date was there. Potential awkward scenario was very likely, semi freak out occurred when I was notified of who would be joining us, worried he would think I was a rude bitch for not being in touch. Thankfully, as often is the case with myself, said freak out was 100% unnecessary. So I figured I would ask him his thoughts on the situation. It turned out that the friendship feelings were 100% mutual, he also said I was an idiot for listening to my friends and he had never heard such nonsense. So I can be friends with a guy I have gone on a date with, thank god, just because I don’t want to make babies with you doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you.

So moral of the story is, when in doubt friendship is never a bad option, blind dates can be fun and sometimes my girlfriend’s advice is not always right.