Excuse me, I can see your...

I had the pleasure of going to the Big Day Out in Melbourne over the long weekend. Celebrating Australia Day the only way a Melbournian should, with music, friends, food and lots of dancing. Going to a festival has many pros, I got to see the Killers (they blew my mind), I danced until my legs could not support me any more, I got to scream and shout and eat Dagwood dogs. There are also I feel, far too many cons, which mainly come in the form of what some girls lovingly refer to as 'festival dressing', which could be more aptly named 'festival undressing'.

I need to give a disclaimer here, I am not trying to be mean, but if you choose to wear inappropriate clothes (show me your vagina, nipples, or various other unpleasant body parts because of your ill fitting clothes) you really do leave yourself open to criticism. Read this with a pinch of salt and a little humor.

It was a pleasant 24 degrees, not really denim cut off weather, however, that did not stop the vast majority of girls wearing what would more appropriately be worn to the beach in 30+ weather. There was midriff, shorts that would more suitably be referred to as denim knickers and so much boob. Do girls have no dignity any more? From the ages of 16-20 it seems that the less they can wear the better they think they look. I wonder if these girls have parents, friends or brothers to tell them they look like $2 peep show girls?! I am by no means a prude, I am all for the short skirts and shorts. However there is a line, that line is passed when I can see your vagina. If I can tell what type of wax you get it is probably far too short! Daisy Duke has a lot to answer for!

My eyes were bombarded the entire day with girls wearing clothes that were ill-fitting, tight in all the wrong spots and had fabric screaming everywhere. I choose to go to a festival to see awesome bands, I did not sign up to see practically naked teenagers. If you have a sister, friend, girlfriend or daughter please do them the service of informing them that the world does not need to see what they had for breakfast. It's nice to leave somethings to the imagination, yeah you might have an amazing body, but I don't care for seeing EVERYTHING you have on offer! See below:

 Too much EVERYTHING

 If I can see your butt cheek, I can see too much

If I can tell what kind of wax you get, it's too short!!

 As above... This one I was unsure if she even had pants on, from this angle probably not, and she gets a Brazilian

 Not a girl but serious fashion faux pa

See butt cheek comment above

Yeah you have a nice bum, but some clothes on, pants wont kill you!

Apart from the excessive butt cheek on display, as always BDO delivered. Such an amazing day, The Killers blew my mind, they were better than I could of ever hoped! I have been to 5 BDO's and I think I can safely say that The Killers set was the best set I have ever seen there. I was a little disappointed with the Yeah Yeah Yeah's and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, such epic bands but they failed to really get the crowd involved. All in all a great day, I danced so much that I was still sore on Monday that's a good sign! Until next year BDO I'll just reminisce on all the memories.

My Biddies

Mr. Burger, the best burger I think I have EVER had!

Brandon Flowers, Marry Me?!

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers

 

From Paris with Love.

Paris has just seen Spring 2013 Couture Fashion Week, alas as I am a mere mortal I doubt I will ever be able to see the Couture shows. So thank you to the tech gods for Instagram and Style.com. I have been vicariously living through the Instagram's of all the fashion editors and bloggers seeing the goings on of all the Couture shows.

 

As much fun as it is seeing what the designers have creatively put together, dresses I couldn't even dream of being able to afford. As with all the shows, what goes on outside is just as exciting as what goes on inside. With Europe experiencing a major cold front over the last few weeks I can imagine that can cause quite the challenge. How does one look stylist under 50+ layers?! Well as you can see below, there are some rather well dressed people rocking out the layers in wonderful form. There are beautiful jackets, fur hoods and lined coats, fluffy gloves and hats, man style three piece suits and much more that can be seen here at Style.com.

 

The below are my pick, I had to cull most of them as the majority were Miroslava Duma, what can I say she just does things to me! Her style is beyond! I will be taking ques from the fash pack when it comes to winter this year, that fur hood...I want one! It's just a shame it really doesn't get fur cold in Melbourne.

 

 

All photos from Style.com by Tommy Ton

Bite Me

The Spinsterhood Diaries

I discovered The Spinsterhood Diaries accidentally about a week ago...dare I say it I clicked on the link because I really liked the illustration, then i read the first line and I really liked that, followed by the whole post and I was laughing at my computer screen for a good 5 minutes after.

31 ways in 31 days is Myrna Minx's count down to a spinsters Valentines day, it is a reflection of 31 ways to be a spinster and it is hilarious! Posts like Go to the movies..by yourself, Don't do anything you don't want to do, Become a connoisseur I highly recommend you read it, even if you are not a spinster, as a girl you will appreciate her witty anecdotes. With advice like, 'don't want to make dinner? Eat cereal or order takeout. (Hint: Cereal is probably less effort)' and 'don't want to wash the dishes? Use paper plates.' Really, how can you go wrong?!

 

Read it, here!!!!

Girl meets Stranger

 

I went on a blind date a few weeks ago, it was an interesting experience. I hate to admit but it was probably one of the best dates I have ever been on, a complete stranger who knew nothing about me managed to put together something I totally enjoyed. Great food choices (Argentinian, followed by an entire chocolate hazelnut cake. Any boy who buys me an entire cake gets some serious brownie points!), great company, great activities (Geo Chacing…this weird treasure hunt thing which led us around the city, down dodgy alley ways I had never seen before), however no spark. Which is fine, almost expected, but this left me with a little bit of a dilemma and a question which I posed to my girlfriends.

Although there was no spark, he was still great company.  I didn’t leave the date wanting another date but I did leave it thinking he would be a great guy to hang out with as a friend. Which I told my girlfriends, who quite enthusiastically told me that NO, I could not be friends with someone who I went on a date with, as I would be leading him on...even if I made all intentions known. This confused me greatly, yeah, we went on a date, but can’t a girl just be friends with a boy?! Does it always have to relate back to dating and sex? What if I just want someone to talk fart jokes with? Why cant I just be friends with a boy?  However as one does, she often relies on the advice of her girlfriends and when the majority’s consensus is that I should not offer friendship as a constellation prize I figured that was the best course of action.

I didn’t think much about it after that, until one night out I met up with the friend who set me up on this blind date and the blind date was there. Potential awkward scenario was very likely, semi freak out occurred when I was notified of who would be joining us, worried he would think I was a rude bitch for not being in touch. Thankfully, as often is the case with myself, said freak out was 100% unnecessary. So I figured I would ask him his thoughts on the situation. It turned out that the friendship feelings were 100% mutual, he also said I was an idiot for listening to my friends and he had never heard such nonsense. So I can be friends with a guy I have gone on a date with, thank god, just because I don’t want to make babies with you doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you.

So moral of the story is, when in doubt friendship is never a bad option, blind dates can be fun and sometimes my girlfriend’s advice is not always right.

Untitled

Source Unknown : Taken from my archives

Call the etiquette police!

 

There are a few things I get passionate about…actually that's a lie there are a lot of things I get quite passionate about and I probably should arm myself with a list of said topics to hand out to people, so they know what to avoid if they don’t wish to experience me chewing their ears off. One of these topics is that of make-up, more precisely one putting on make-up (not in the privacy of their own home) in public in front of EVERYONE...

Now I am not talking about the sly lippy reapply, or a quick glance in the shop window to check that everything is in place and wiping that little smudge under your eye. I am talking about those girls who feel that it is appropriate, from start to finish, to do all their makeup in the company of a room, train, bus, or airport full of strangers. It wasn’t until I brought this topic up with a group of friends while watching some girl reapply her entire face on the New York subway that I began to notice the epidemic that is public make-up application. You spot one, you spot them all.

One does not clean their teeth on the train, nor should one apply her concealer, foundation, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, eyebrows or mascara. I don’t know when it became socially acceptable to do so, it baffles me. It’s like the leggings as pants epidemic that has been sweeping our streets for the past five or so years. It is not ok, leggings are underwear not outer wear, and make-up is to be done in private so the world is fooled in to thinking we wake up in the morning looking this bright and sprightly naturally.

Something needs to be done, women need to unite and stop this from happening. At 8am on my morning commute to work I do not want to watch you with your manky foundation and eye shadow pallet doing your face. Someone call the etiquette police please!

Special thanks to Emma Bergamin Davys for keeping me up to date of these social faux-pas from her side of  the world.

No lonely hearts

 

This is an oldie but a goodie, a shoot I did aggges ago with a stupidly talented team.

 

Photographer: Viktor Nilsson

Make Up Artist: Blonde Gamon

Model: Christina Dietze

Stylist: Me

 

Published in Marriage